So… out of the blue you get that dreaded ‘its not you its me…,’ ‘I just don’t feel a connection’ ‘I’m not ready for a relationship’ kind of BS text and you are left there in bits.

Best friend duty on call with the Gin, Choc and ice cream but you’re there, plagued with ‘who, what, when, where and why?!’ Do I, don’t I races through your mind, that temptation to press send on a three worded message along the lines of ‘I xxxx you’ (fill in as you see fit).

When The Blue Ticks are staring you in the face; their last seen was 5 minutes ago and there is no sign of ‘typing’ anywhere in sight- a button is suddenly pressed. This overwhelming alter-ego possess us and we suddenly become neo-neurotic! From staying online, checking all SM, calling, messaging – you get the drill.
My point is, do not sit there feeling mortified. Your reaction is on the back of their out of the blue actions towards you. You are so confused and weren’t given the memo, in fact some may say they forgot to give you it until they had checked out long before. Your way of handling it is erratic, as your dealing with the shock, and the loss of them as well as trying to process what is actually happening to you. All I am saying is, try to not be too hard on yourself.
Its all good and well for best friend ‘Lex’ to try to calm you down, to seriously instruct you to call them instead; for your mum to call even more than usual to check in. Its just no good – your ‘fix’ can only be from your other half – then you feel at ease.

That fix, however is short term. Heartbreak is statistically and factually connected to same part of your brain as addiction. All I am saying is, don’t be too hard on yourself. Some quick fixes include: Deep breathing (trust me!), meditation music, Friends (the sitcom) and please add the group ‘The Conflicts of Life’ and listen to Pat and Nancy, motivating influencers based on their heartache, they gave me so much perspective and purpose.
If you are going through a break up and can relate to this post, please feel free to get in touch for free and confidential support. Try to not be too hard on yourself; this is not the real you – it is because you are hurt. Yes you need to be responsible for your actions but the addiction and shock factor play a crucial role at this time.

Be the priority, not the option.
Lx